Today I am human

Assuming I have an old alarm clock and make coffee every morning, I definitely woke up late and never plugged in the Mr. Coffee this morning. Or at least that was the vibe that was set for me today.

I interviewed at what seemed to be repetitiveville to where I attended to my failed attempts to find an actual place with actual interest and validity and actual income. To momentarily forget my efforts, I took myself to the Spectrum to do some retail therapy. I wish I catered to my physical health than my physical clothe but it is what is, I ams who I ams. Unfortunately, I was able to find some steals to ease my burdensome heart, but I was left still feeling defeated, plus more broke. And though I rarely admit defeat, today I was human. And all I could see was

And I let it get me down for a solid hour (this was during the time I was probably contemplating a quarter button-up striped men's tee, but still aching of course). And I actively kept in mind today's bible devotional and how it was about not complaining, because I ain't no Izzyraelite. But there I was, caught in the act. I guess I wasn't blatantly complaining, but it's clear now I was disguising it with an attitude of exhaustion and defeat. But I am human, and thank the Lord, He is a little more useful that I. So I took about two handfuls of deep breathes to realize again, He is good. And He wants me to see passed the instant picture. And that I just have to either focus or roll the window down.

Learning & Trusting,

T

What I've been up to

www.examiner.com/anaheim

Do me a solid1 and check out my first online article.

And maybe be an avid fan and continue to check while I work my little heart to produce something fashion worthy to read.2

Aside from dreaming to be a writer and discreetly threatening you readers to read even more of my foolishness, I've also taken an interest in denying jobs after interviews. It seems I can still afford to be a picky fool, but I'm getting maybe dis..cour....IF I SAY IT I WONT FEEL IT. DONE. So I'm still on the up and up wearing pencil skirts to make me feel more efficient so time will tell. Have a vague game plan for this weeks climb to Mt. Success.

He is good.3

That is the only/looming thought that has so forcefully surrounded me through these couple of days. But I am definitely looking forward to the morning.

1. I think it's a 60's term, or I'd like to think but I have always wanted to oddly say that.

2. I won't be impressive but I hope to provide sweet pics.

3. Hebrews 10:22-25 dang.

I'm down

Carol: It's going to be a place where only the things you want to happen, would happen.

Max: We could totally build a place like that!

-Where the Wild Things Are

I Never Lie

Only if I think it's an important situation where the results of my lie could lets say, land you a new job, new life partner, or really just make your day. But I usually never lie, I'm good with keeping things in but making sure the sincerest ones are communicated. Thus, why I miss you, or the kinds of people I tend to miss lie within these regions:

Southern California.

You probably make me laugh.

You definitely encourage me.

You bring me up in casual conversations, even when the topic is irrelevant such as pets or household products.

You like my advice more than you come to it but it reaches you.

Your best quality rarely falls in other's moderate one.

You are involved in my favorite memories.

You challenge/d me.

You have some good priorities.

You are passionate about something, which leads me to do the same.

You are probably someone I'd love to go on a walk with again or ever.

You've listened and you've spoken to be listened by me.

You find adventure in travel or coffee conversation.

You understand my distance. Physical and/or mental.

This is who I miss.

All my arrows,

Tracy

Extreme Makeover

I'm currently in the middle of gathering documents for a job application but I wanted to write a quick blog since I will be leaving tomorrow for AZ with the College Group, aka, I should probably move onto Young and Married group or I Have Nothing Impressing Going on YET group. But it should be fun since my Pastor, Greg rented a big ol' van for about 14 of us to enjoy a nice dinner, hotel fun, then b fast. I will be back before you can think of another fitting bible group to categorize me under, but this weekend will be going by in a happy fast pace I'm sure.

So what's important to mention.

-Cleaned my room and finally set up my record player and speakers, check.

-In process of canceling Gold's and have been a member of 24 Hr for about 48 hours, and I'm seeing results.

-My room is pretty nice when it's dusted, vacuumed, polished and prepped.

-Today felt like a good job applying day. We shall see.

-Last night at D group, we went over Matthew 6. I have no idea why I don' t carve the whole book on my forearm.

-I described my state of being today to a friend as gazing up, petition, and tenacity. Another described me today as adventurous and hopeful. The point, I have good friends.

-Finishing up Mere Christianity and my notebooks are exploding with copyrighted quotes and revelations.

-Thanksgiving should be fun, and I am preparing my post school speech. So far it's an abrupt and straightforward "I am not single, I'm just not dating and teachers aren't even getting jobs you know and I've traveled four countries since early June, you?"

-I'm praying a lot.

-I really have invested a new love for fashion.

-I've written one song.

-I'm thinking about talking to a publisher about some stuff. (CANDID)

-I miss you.

Next blog will be about why I miss you.

AZ bound,

Trace

Careers & Tears

When I look at my sent outbox, I weep. I've applied for over twenty-five jobs and not one has taken interest in an outgoing, educated, cool font-picker, real good hugger, communicative girl.

This realization all comes to me at 2 a.m. I'd rather sleepwalk into my neighbors pet store they call a backyard.

So to keep my mind off these real life let downs, I dive into the world of Hulu.com. Though unhealthy for my eyes and sleeping pattern, I've found such a delight to live through characters and their world and to fully and rightfully ignore my economical broken down one.

And though this has left me sleeping at ungodly hours of the night only to wake up to another day of Craigslist.com, the holiday season and the good scarf wearing people who are in my life have unknowingly kept me on the up and up. Just last night at college group we started prep for our church's hoedown this saturday. I had a real great time. And I have to say that wasn't a world I would of ignored. But here's to hoping for the latter situation to beat and pulverize the fictional lives and experiences I so tend to gravitate towards.

To start, proof of the real good life.

Worked on this with a couple other vibrant people while a group of our boys were in the kitchen making the chili and another group of peeps were putting together a music list for the event. All in all a success for each station. But I have to say, this backdrop makes my work in '05 (Publicity ASB, raise the high school roof) look like child's play. This has consequently got me thinking, I might want to consider a career in church country event backdrop making.

We'll just have to see if the country folk will validate my new found glory, come Saturday.

Dreaming the life,

T